Chapter 21: An Unexpected Test

After we were both in the bathroom, Teresa locked the door, and turned off the lights. I was confused. Were dragons afraid of the dark or something? Pretty soon though, she lit some candles. It must be some kind of magic thing, I thought.
"Now," she said, with an odd tone in her voice, "You're a virgin, right?"
I certianly hadn't expected that question.
"Well, yeah," I replied, too shocked to say anything more
As I watched in shock, she began slowly removing her top as she went on. "The morphic gene is almost always triggered the first time, provided it's hot enough." She winked. I was too amazed to say anything. Getting her shirt off, she grabbed my face and...
Yelled "PSYCH!!" She put her shirt back on and turned on the lights.
"Sorry," she went on in her normal tone, "I just saw the opportunity to mess with you and, it being April Fool's day and all I thought it would be fun. Let me show you the real test."
We walked out of the bathroom, and Teresa ran off, returning a moment later with two large rubber mallets.
"Being hit over the head with a mallet 85 times works a lot of times on people your age," she said, "So I thought we'd try that first. We'll take turns."
I was pretty sure she was yanking my chain again, and I wasn't gonna fall for it twice.
"Hold on now, I know you're kidding."
"Fine then," she replied, "Don't be a dragon. It's all the same to me."
Sighing, I decided to play her game. 85 whacks and a nasty headache later, I was still human.
"Mmk," she said, "There are still two things we haven't tried."
Next she took me down to the basement where several shady looking characters were playing poker.
"Two more for this round," she said, and we sat down. We played poker (at this point I'd given up on questioning her) for about three hours, at which point I'd lost all of my money and property and the shirt off my back. And I'd lost it to Teresa.
"Well," she said, getting up, "I guess that's not gonna work either."
"So, can I have my stuff back?" I asked.
"No."
Next she took me out to the street in front of the building.
"The last thing to try," she said, "Is outright danger. Just run out in front of a car. "
I was terrified. Everything else hadn't worked, why should this? And if this didn't work, I was dead. Nonetheless, I ran out in front of a big SUV. Lying broken and mangled in the street, I heard Teresa say "You know, maybe he's not a Draconic after all..."