So I was writing a paper on Dante and I came up with an idea for a story. Like most of my ideas, it's probably been done before by someone famous who I've never heard of, but to me it's original. I'm not saying I believe any of this is true, just that it would be an interesting take on history and especially the events of the Bible, and a really good setting for an epic adventure story. Basically, the idea is that a supreme being creates the universe, and sets evolution and everything in motion, but doesn't anticipate humans evolving into self-aware beings. So humanity starts completely screwing with the divine plan, and the supreme being has to improvise. So the supreme being creates lesser beings to rule over individual groups of humans - The Greek, Norse, Hindu, and other Pantheons. Unfortunately, these lesser beings start telling the humans that they really created the universe, and leaving out any mention of the supreme being. This wasn't in the deal, and the supreme being tries to eliminate these false gods. Unfortunately, he does this too late - humans are already believing in and worshiping all kinds of things. And so the other gods are stronger now, because belief strengthens them, and mount a battle against the supreme being for control of the earth. The commodity they fight over is belief- Any god can shape physical things, but the ability to shape humans is elusive, and they can't figure out how to.
This, I think, is where I set the story - with a group of humans being commisioned by the supreme being to be his instruments in fighting the false Gods he himself created. Here it diverges from mirroring history and delves into a fantastic world populated by creatures from every mythology imaginable.
The scope here is enormous, so it will staying on the drawing board for a while, but I think I could do some really good things with this basic concept.
I know, I know, finish the two stories you've started already. I will, I will. I'm just putting this here so I won't forget it, and so you guys can give me feedback on the concept.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
A Pseudo-Romantic Vignette
Romance is a sordid affair - it's a combination of conditional hormonal responses, complex emotions, and god knows what else. Sex has a lot to do with it, especially for college students. Anyway, it's too complicated to understand, so we don't really try. If we're smart, that is.
I've never been all that smart, which is why I'm thinking about this at all, especially here and now.
She's sitting next to me, leaning against my chest, almost more out lack of space than anything else. Twelve people, four chairs, and a couch that seats maybe four? You do the math. People are sprawled all over the floor, the chairs, and each other. Anyhow, we're kind of friends, so it shouldn't be weird.
Well, for most guys it wouldn't. But as I said earlier, I've never been all that smart when it comes to this sort of thing. I try to figure out how things work. and I end up getting hurt. I overthink and ruin things that would work out fine if I let them be. So a few days ago, I decided just to stop planning, stop strategizing, and just let things happen.
And now stuff is happening. I'm enjoying the physical contact. I think she is too, but it's hard to say. It feels like she has me at a disadvantage. That's probably not true, but I tend to assume the worst. You would too, if you'd been through what I have. After a while you tend to stop getting your hopes up.
I look down and realize my arm is around her. How did it get there? I think I'd remember doing something like that. But she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she turns her head slightly and smiles at me. A week ago I'd have been trying to analyze that smile. But not now. You learn not to read people. If you never guess, you're never wrong. You just enjoy it while it lasts - it is what it is.
Most guys actually get this concept. I mean, you see it all the time - guys and girls who aren't in a relationship holding each other, lying together, and generally being close. I've always wondered how they did it. And to think, it was this simple.
She leans her head back on my shoulder. Her hair smells nice. I've never been this close to her before, but it smells oddly familiar. I wonder if she uses the same shampoo as a girl I've dated. Probably not. The scent of female hair always seems to have this effect on me. It's probably pheromones or something.
Her head is maybe an inch away from mine. If she were my girlfriend I'd kiss her right now. But she's not, and that would definitely be going too far. I actually have no reason to believe she wants anything romantic from me. Because she's not me. She doesn't plan ahead. She's probably just living in the moment, enjoying this while it lasts - you know, what I should be doing instead of all this thinking.
But alas, I am a creature of habit, and despite my best efforts, my mind is already reverting to its old ways.
What is she thinking? Does she like me? Does she like someone else? Who is it? Why do I immediately assume there is a "he"? Why wouldn't there be? Is it even possible there's a she?
No, that's silly. It's all silly. I manage to get that part of my brain shut off again. Live in the moment, I tell myself, Don't make plans. Plans just get screwed up and screw you over.
The thing is, I'm not even sure I like her that way. To be perfectly honest, I've never thought about her like that before. Do I really even want to be with her? Or do I just want to be with someone, and she seems convenient?
She laughs, shaking me out of my trance. Something amusing has happened in the movie I haven't exactly been watching. She lifts her head off of my shoulder and turns to look at me again.
she smiles.
I smile.
The person sitting at the other end of the couch gets up, and she slides down a bit to make use of the extra space. Her head is now resting on my rib cage. I reach up absent-mindedly and run my fingers through her hair. She leans back further into my chest. It's still pleasant, but now slightly painful. But I don't want her to go.
The film, ostensibly our reason for being here, has now reached a rather suspensful point. I feel her hand clench my leg. This seems to me beyond the realm of friendly flirting, but I force myself not to overthink. It is what it is. Let it be.
My fingers have moved, seemingly of their own accord, down her neck to her shoulder. I'm not really sure what I'm doing. My hand closes around her shoulder and I can feel her bra strap through her shirt. She yawns, and her body shakes. I move my hand as she lies back.
And now the movie is over. We lie there through the credits, all of us, talking and laughing. Her laugh is beautiful, and I can feel her head vibrating against my chest.
After a while, she gets up. She should go to bed, she says. I should too. I look around. The other loungers are slowly rousing themselves. I notice two friends more intertwined then we were. They show no signs of wanting to get up.
I realize if I wanted something to happen between us, now would be the time. But really, I don't. It was nice, now it's over. It may be too late, but I'm finally coming to terms with that.
I walk home alone, smiling to myself. I don't know what will happen with her. Probably nothing. But I'm content. I've finally found the crucial fact I've been looking for: learning to be single doesn't mean learning to be alone.
I've never been all that smart, which is why I'm thinking about this at all, especially here and now.
She's sitting next to me, leaning against my chest, almost more out lack of space than anything else. Twelve people, four chairs, and a couch that seats maybe four? You do the math. People are sprawled all over the floor, the chairs, and each other. Anyhow, we're kind of friends, so it shouldn't be weird.
Well, for most guys it wouldn't. But as I said earlier, I've never been all that smart when it comes to this sort of thing. I try to figure out how things work. and I end up getting hurt. I overthink and ruin things that would work out fine if I let them be. So a few days ago, I decided just to stop planning, stop strategizing, and just let things happen.
And now stuff is happening. I'm enjoying the physical contact. I think she is too, but it's hard to say. It feels like she has me at a disadvantage. That's probably not true, but I tend to assume the worst. You would too, if you'd been through what I have. After a while you tend to stop getting your hopes up.
I look down and realize my arm is around her. How did it get there? I think I'd remember doing something like that. But she doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she turns her head slightly and smiles at me. A week ago I'd have been trying to analyze that smile. But not now. You learn not to read people. If you never guess, you're never wrong. You just enjoy it while it lasts - it is what it is.
Most guys actually get this concept. I mean, you see it all the time - guys and girls who aren't in a relationship holding each other, lying together, and generally being close. I've always wondered how they did it. And to think, it was this simple.
She leans her head back on my shoulder. Her hair smells nice. I've never been this close to her before, but it smells oddly familiar. I wonder if she uses the same shampoo as a girl I've dated. Probably not. The scent of female hair always seems to have this effect on me. It's probably pheromones or something.
Her head is maybe an inch away from mine. If she were my girlfriend I'd kiss her right now. But she's not, and that would definitely be going too far. I actually have no reason to believe she wants anything romantic from me. Because she's not me. She doesn't plan ahead. She's probably just living in the moment, enjoying this while it lasts - you know, what I should be doing instead of all this thinking.
But alas, I am a creature of habit, and despite my best efforts, my mind is already reverting to its old ways.
What is she thinking? Does she like me? Does she like someone else? Who is it? Why do I immediately assume there is a "he"? Why wouldn't there be? Is it even possible there's a she?
No, that's silly. It's all silly. I manage to get that part of my brain shut off again. Live in the moment, I tell myself, Don't make plans. Plans just get screwed up and screw you over.
The thing is, I'm not even sure I like her that way. To be perfectly honest, I've never thought about her like that before. Do I really even want to be with her? Or do I just want to be with someone, and she seems convenient?
She laughs, shaking me out of my trance. Something amusing has happened in the movie I haven't exactly been watching. She lifts her head off of my shoulder and turns to look at me again.
she smiles.
I smile.
The person sitting at the other end of the couch gets up, and she slides down a bit to make use of the extra space. Her head is now resting on my rib cage. I reach up absent-mindedly and run my fingers through her hair. She leans back further into my chest. It's still pleasant, but now slightly painful. But I don't want her to go.
The film, ostensibly our reason for being here, has now reached a rather suspensful point. I feel her hand clench my leg. This seems to me beyond the realm of friendly flirting, but I force myself not to overthink. It is what it is. Let it be.
My fingers have moved, seemingly of their own accord, down her neck to her shoulder. I'm not really sure what I'm doing. My hand closes around her shoulder and I can feel her bra strap through her shirt. She yawns, and her body shakes. I move my hand as she lies back.
And now the movie is over. We lie there through the credits, all of us, talking and laughing. Her laugh is beautiful, and I can feel her head vibrating against my chest.
After a while, she gets up. She should go to bed, she says. I should too. I look around. The other loungers are slowly rousing themselves. I notice two friends more intertwined then we were. They show no signs of wanting to get up.
I realize if I wanted something to happen between us, now would be the time. But really, I don't. It was nice, now it's over. It may be too late, but I'm finally coming to terms with that.
I walk home alone, smiling to myself. I don't know what will happen with her. Probably nothing. But I'm content. I've finally found the crucial fact I've been looking for: learning to be single doesn't mean learning to be alone.
Sunday, September 10, 2006
Why am I such an idiot!?!?
Why do I keep doing this to myself? I see the pattern - meet girl, fall for girl, watch girl get swept up by some other guy, get over girl, repeat FOUR FRICKIN' TIMES! And yet I continue to fall for them. And next week, Shane will manage to steal Claire from me, I'll cry, I'll get over her, and I'll start over with someone else around Thursday. Well, I'm sick of it. This time I'm not stepping aside. If he wants her, he's going to have to win her over before I do. Don't envy the other guy. Be the other guy. Because she asked me out. She's interested. So she's not just leading me on - I do have a shot of coming out on top this time. I just have to not give in.
And if I lose, that's it. No more falling for anyone at all until at least next semester. (Like that's gonna happen.)
And if I lose, that's it. No more falling for anyone at all until at least next semester. (Like that's gonna happen.)
Monday, September 04, 2006
The Alphabet is out to get me!
Today the answer to all my problems occured to me: the letters of the alphabet are sentient beings locked in constant battle with one another. I am nothing more than a casualty in a great battle between A and G.
Crazy? It may sound that way, but think about the facts. I am Nathan Andrew Comstock. Now think about that name. It contains 3 a's and no G's. This year, I was asigned to live in the Annex with Adam. So while G has no bias towards me, A has a strong interest in me.
I've had two girlfriends: Ashley and Amy. Adding in their middle and last names, you find two As in Ashley's name and three in Amy's. And my relationship with Amy lasted longer than my relationship with Ashley.
Now look at the last to girls I've had problems with: Ginny and Grace. Notice how both names start with G, the letter absent from my name. And several years ago, Glennie also gave me a very hard time. Obviously, A has some problem with G. Having identified myself with A, I can no longer have any luck with the G people.
As I was walking down the street having just come up with this theory, I looked up and saw Amanda and Alexa walking down the street, like the letter A saying to me: yup. You're one of us now. Get used to it.
Problems with this theory:
Amy's name has a G in it.
Grace has at least two A's in her name
Ginny's name actually starts with V
Ashlee Pugh rejected me as well
It's total BS.
Crazy? It may sound that way, but think about the facts. I am Nathan Andrew Comstock. Now think about that name. It contains 3 a's and no G's. This year, I was asigned to live in the Annex with Adam. So while G has no bias towards me, A has a strong interest in me.
I've had two girlfriends: Ashley and Amy. Adding in their middle and last names, you find two As in Ashley's name and three in Amy's. And my relationship with Amy lasted longer than my relationship with Ashley.
Now look at the last to girls I've had problems with: Ginny and Grace. Notice how both names start with G, the letter absent from my name. And several years ago, Glennie also gave me a very hard time. Obviously, A has some problem with G. Having identified myself with A, I can no longer have any luck with the G people.
As I was walking down the street having just come up with this theory, I looked up and saw Amanda and Alexa walking down the street, like the letter A saying to me: yup. You're one of us now. Get used to it.
Problems with this theory:
Amy's name has a G in it.
Grace has at least two A's in her name
Ginny's name actually starts with V
Ashlee Pugh rejected me as well
It's total BS.
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