Monday, September 04, 2006

The Alphabet is out to get me!

Today the answer to all my problems occured to me: the letters of the alphabet are sentient beings locked in constant battle with one another. I am nothing more than a casualty in a great battle between A and G.
Crazy? It may sound that way, but think about the facts. I am Nathan Andrew Comstock. Now think about that name. It contains 3 a's and no G's. This year, I was asigned to live in the Annex with Adam. So while G has no bias towards me, A has a strong interest in me.
I've had two girlfriends: Ashley and Amy. Adding in their middle and last names, you find two As in Ashley's name and three in Amy's. And my relationship with Amy lasted longer than my relationship with Ashley.
Now look at the last to girls I've had problems with: Ginny and Grace. Notice how both names start with G, the letter absent from my name. And several years ago, Glennie also gave me a very hard time. Obviously, A has some problem with G. Having identified myself with A, I can no longer have any luck with the G people.
As I was walking down the street having just come up with this theory, I looked up and saw Amanda and Alexa walking down the street, like the letter A saying to me: yup. You're one of us now. Get used to it.

Problems with this theory:

Amy's name has a G in it.
Grace has at least two A's in her name
Ginny's name actually starts with V
Ashlee Pugh rejected me as well
It's total BS.


wings said...

BS, maybe, but still entertaining.

Ginny's name starts with a V how?

Nathaniel Cornstalk said...


Jonah said...

This post makes me very happy.