Friday, November 26, 2004

I suck at titles

As he flew off in search of their quarry, Brazik was thinking about the happenings of the morning. He was horribly confused by Simile's behavior. He wasn't in love with her, not by any stretch of the word. In fact he'd been thinking about breaking it off with her the previous night. But no girl had ever given up an opportunity to spend more time with him before, and because it had never happened, he had assumed it to be impossible. He was going over what, in his mind, seemed to be the two options - Simile was crazy, or she was a lesbian. He'd been trying to reconcile one of these options with what he knew of her when the squid incident took place. That's when a new idea came to him (a rare event in the life of someone like Brazik). Maybe he wasn't being manly enough. After all, he didn't step in and try to tackle the squid. He'd just been too startled to think about it. This, he reasoned, must be why Simile would want to spend less time with me. I must show her how tough I am. The fact that the supposed cause came after the supposed effect did not matter to Brazik. When present with a problem, he tended to choose the situation with the simplest solution, even if it had obvious logical flaws. This is what was going through Brazik's mind when Poji alerted the others to his discovery.
"D-D-D-Down there!" he let out.
"Found one?" asked Brazik.
"N-n-no, b-b-but, l-l-l-look,"He pointed down. Four creatures were marching, carrying something between them. A fifth rode in front, on some sort of giant cat. They looked sort of like a cross between a man and an Armidillo. They were heavily armored with long tails ending in spike-balls. They were carrying pikes, and had swords at their sides.
"Orks?" asked Brazik
"Orks are more reptilian," answered Tether, "And they're too tall to be goblinoids. I can't recall ever studying a creature like that,"
(Tether had never been outside the colony any more than the others, but he was an avid reader and had amassed far more knowledge of the world than most pixie's his age)
"Who cares?" asked Isa, "They're not our problem,"
Simile was staring at what they were carrying between them. Lying on a make-shift litter, still unconscious, was the little girl.
"No," she answered, "It's mine,"
And with that she dove down towards them.

Wednesday, November 24, 2004

War on Love

Screw the war on terror. Someone needs to start a war on love. It's a powerful, destructive force that needs to be stopped. It's kind of like a drug. Sure, it makes you happy while you're on it, but then you get withdrawal symptoms and you go crazy. I got addicted to Ashley. I haven't had her for three months and I think I'm going to go crazy.
I need help. I don't need Amy to be out of town for a week. Seeing her keeps me from spiraling into madness. And God help William if I complete that spiral, because right now a huge part of me wants to make him suffer for this, and I'm afraid of that part winning over.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

Regaining sanity

I kinda flew off the handle there. Just to make it clear to everyone, I am not going to abandon Amy and go on a hopeless quest to win back Ashley, nor am I going to stalk anyone. I still don't know what I am going to do, but it definately won't be that. Just wanted to put that in writing so ya'll could hold me to it.
Amy is really a remarkable girl, and I'm going to stick with her through this. Anything less would just make things worse.

Monday, November 22, 2004

Now I'm upset again. I was kinda hoping she was worried about me. I worried about her when she was crying over me. It killed me to see her like that. Now I'm there, and she's fine with it. That kinda pisses me off.

Sunday, November 21, 2004

Well, cleaning my room to get mind off things was a monumentily stupid idea. Every object I picked up had some memory associated with it. I couldn't stand it. It'll have to get done another time.

Saturday, November 20, 2004


This'll be my fifth post in two days, but I can only hope it comes at the end of it all, as a sort of an after thought. Feelings are like a river. If you just let them flow, they might flood every so often but it'll be slow and you'll be able to handle it. But if you try to damn them up, then eventually the pressure will become so great the damn breaks, and water comes gushing in. Last night the damn burst. The damage was extensive. Today I tried my best to clean it up. All I can say is I've learned something very valuable from all this, and I'm not likely to forget it anytime soon.
You know what I said about that one ray of hope? Well, she's gone too now. It's all darkness. I've screwed up my life so completely there is no redemption, and everyone is now injured by my stupidity. I'm running out of friends.

Friday, November 19, 2004

Explanatory rant

Why am I depressed? Nothing else is going wrong; everything is going great. I just had a great show. And I didn't even have an hour to be happy before she had to step in and shove reality in my face. Why the hell can't I just LET HER GO?!!!

I've got to have the worst timing of anyone. I could have felt this way before we broke up, or during the weeks she was crying over me, or anytime between then and when she started dating William, and it actually would have done some good. Now, it's just useless emotion drivng me slowly insane. And I can't do a thing about it. And I can't even get into another relationship for fear of this happening again. I don't need this right now. I'm such an idiot!

I need to cuss.


Somehow I don't feel any better.

Love sucks

Happy happy happy! happy happy happy! sad.

hellfire and damnation.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Almost got a title..really

For a time, no one moved. Everyone just stared in silence at the spot where the squid had been. After a while, Brazik decided to end it. Having no idea what had just happened, he chose to ignore it.
"Well," he said, "I think we're short a tent. It'll be tight, all five of us sharing one, but we can make do. Let's gather up the fabric and the rest of the provision's and get going,"
Most of the others seemed to come out of the trance-like state and started moving about, following his instructions. Isa, however, just sat there.
"What about breakfast?" asked Poji after a while. The others agreed and they sat down to eat before they left. Isa slowly stood up and walked over to join them. The shock of being attacked had not yet worn off of her. They ate in silence for a while. This made Brazik uncomfortable, so he decided to say something.
"You know what our objective looks like," he said. "We agreed that a squirrel or a badger, though powerful, would be too easy. As you all know, we've decided to go after a Phidgeon*,"
"We know all this," said Tether. "The question is where to find one. We've seen no sign of them since the flock we past yesterday afternoon. Many have already migrated south. I fear we may have waited too long."
"Nonsense," answered Simile, "It's barely Arkatz.** It's not nearly cold enough to have driven them away,"
"I'm confident we'll find one," assured the leader, "But when we do, we'll have to act fast to restrain it. Tether will attempt to get a harness onto it it, while Simile, Isa, and Poji try to rope it's feet. I will have the most dangerous job, attempting to clamp shut it's beak so it cant burn us,"
"My hero," intoned Simile sarcastically.
They finished their fruit and lifted off through the canopy.
*A mere nuisance to the larger races, these large birds, cousins of the Pheonix, often try to roost in pixie colonies, starting dangerous fires in the process.
**The 6th month of the 8 month pixie year.

Thursday, November 11, 2004

Pixie rescaling

For story purpusoses, I'm making an adjustment to my background information. The Pixies are being rescaled slightly. The base height is now about 9 centimeters. Sorry for the inconvenience.

Bonus pixie update! The story finally gets interesting!

As Simile approached the camp, two things about the girl at the orchard still bothered her. The mystery of her appearance and attire rested heavily on her mind, along with a mix of guilt and anxiety for leaving her unconscious in the forest. She was mulling over this as Brazik flew up to meet her.
"Good morning, sweetheart" he said in his deep, husky voice. His unusually large wings were beating furiously to keep his Bulky, muscular body in the air. He moved forward to try to kiss her, but she darted backwards, then up and over his hear, turning around as she passed him, then flying backwards towards the ground. When he got done being confused, he turned around towards her.
"What was that for, baby?" he asked
"You're getting a little to comfortable with me," she answered, "I'm cutting you off,"
He looked stunned.
"Not forever," she continued, "Just till we finish the ceremony. Consider it an incentive," she turned around to make her landing, then looked over her shoulder at him.
"And the gentlemanly thing," she finished, "Would've been to offer to help with the bags. After all, I did get us breakfast,"
She turned and walked toward the camp, and Brazik walked behind her. Poji was already sitting out side the other tent, and Tether exited it just as they approached.
"Rashez*, Simile!" he said as he saw them.
"He smiles indeed," she answered traditionally.
"What's for breakfast?" asked Poji
"Crab-apples," answered the young woman. "Why aren't the tent's up?" she asked.
"Folding the tent with Isa inside would probably be a bad idea," answered Tether
"Well why isn't she up? She's had her chance to sleep in already," she set down the bag of apples and marched into the tent.
Isa was inside, braiding her hair and humming softly to herself.
"Isa!" said Simile as she entered. "We're not going to a party, we're going hunting. I'm sure the rodents will forgive you if you don't look your prettiest. Get out of the tent now,"
"Well aren't we the bossy one today?" asked Isa. "Someone didn't get enough sleep today. Or did you have a fight with your Omatzi?"
"I'm not kidding Isa. We have a lot of work to do, and I, for one, am looking forward to the initiation. Your hair can wait,"
"You're just jealous cause you don't have any," she said. Simile's turquoise hair was close cropped, growing out only slightly in the back,"
"I like it that way," she answered. "It doesn't get in the way, and unlike yours, it's ready to go when I wake up. Get moving now if you want breakfast," she walked out.
"Tether," she said, "I've been thinking about your idea, and I've decided I like it,"
"What?" asked the other.
Simile bent down and put her hand on one of the tent stakes, motioning the others to do the same. Tether immediately got it. The other two puzzled for a while, then bent down. Simile counted on her fingers. 1...2...3
They pulled up their stakes. The tent collapsed. At the same moment, beam of purple light shot out of Simile's forehead into the tent. Isa screamed.
There were two lumps in the fabric of the tent. One was pixie shaped, definitely Isa. The other appeared to have tentacles and a very large head, and soon ripped through the fabric of the tent. The tentacles had blades on them. It looked like a squid with scimitars. It raised one over Isa's cowering form.
"No!" yelled Simile. To her amazement, the creature stopped, and lowered it's blade, then turned to look at her. The others were staring in amazement.
for a long time, nothing happened.
Simile looked at the squid.
The Squid looked at Simile.
Everyone else looked at the scene with disbelief.
And then the squid vanished.

*Ancient pixie greeting, shortened form of Rashez smile on you. Rashez was either a diety or a great king, no one really knows.

**deragatory term for a lover.

Monday, November 08, 2004

The untitled first Doom pixie story, part iii (of part I)

No novel means time to work on pixies. That's a good thing for you.

Back at the camp, Tether was just waking up. Having taken first watch, he had gotten to bed pretty late, and he considered it acceptable to sleep in a little, especially since Simile had volunteered for breakfast duty. Expecting to see his rotund friend, Poji, on the other side of the tent, he was pleased, if a bit confused, to see Isa lying there instead. She had shuffled her blanket down to her feet and was lying on her side facing him, snoring softly, with a gentle contented look. A red-orange night shirt-like garment hung loosely around her sleeping blue form, and her luxuriant dark green hair fell over her shoulders. She was not quite as shapely as Simile, Tether mused, but she was very beautiful in her own right. At least, while she was asleep.
His ponderance was interupted by Poji entering the tent.
"What are you doing up?" asked Tether, "I thought she had third watch"
"I thought so too," said the boy.
"Well,, why didn't you wake her then?" asked the other
"I was.. " Poji began. He stopped, unable to think of a convincing excuse. "H-h-how is it m-m-my fault?" he asked eventually. "Sh-She should have been up,"
"Then wake her," said Tether. He turned to leave.
"W-why don't you?" asked Poji.
"You had the last watch, you wake her,"
By this time, Isa has started to stir. she turned overand stretched then slowly sat up.
'What time is it?" she asked, rubbing her eyes.
"J-j-just after sunup-p," said Poji, angrily "L-longg past you're w-watch,"
"I'm sorry," she said sweetly, "I must have overslept. I need my beauty sleep every so often. Thank you for taking my watch for me,"
Her sweet voices, pitched like a child's, melted the look of rage from Poji's face. "I-it was n-no problem," he said.
Isa stood up and took her hunting clothes off of the rack. "Would you too mind waiting outside? A girl needs her privacy,"
"O-of course," said Poji. He left back through the tent flap.
"May I equip myself first?" asked Tether, " I have a feeling we'll be moving out pretty quick after breakfast,"
"You can stay," said Isa, "I really just needed to get rid of Poji. I don't enjoy being gawked at,"
But you have to admit," pointed out Tether, " His attraction to you has it's advantages. You probably got more sleep last night than anyone else. I'm worried he can only work double shifts for so long, though"
"You think I did that on purpose?" asked the girl
"I didn't say that,"
"I'm not trying to take advantage of the poor boy," she responded.
"Good" said Tether. He collected the rest of his things and headed out the door.

That's four out of five main characters somewhat developed, and we're almost ready to start a plot. Please tell me what you think.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

I'm better now. Still not great, but better. I've taken a breather and I'm gonna be ok. I thank most of you for your support.

Thursday, November 04, 2004

I hate November

Not much else to say. It's easily the worst months of the year, and this one is particularly bad. Less than a week into it I've gotten enough sleep one day out of those five, our nation re-eleected one of it's worst presidents ever, I've had more homework than I can remember having ever, and I realized that I still have feelings for Ashley, which I'm trying to get over for William's sake. And I'm taking it all out on Evan, which really probably isn't fair, but I can't really help it and it's sort of his own fault. Today I screwed up a lab in physics and Mrs. Dingman yelled at me in Chamber, because I was unfocused, because I'm not getting enough sleep. I clearly don't have time to write a novel.
The one ray of hope in this nightmare of a week has been Amy. And even she I'm a little uncertain about. I'm thinking about quiting Chamber choir.
And yes Evie, I'm comfortable posting all this here because I'm 90% certain you're the only one still reading it.